I don’t post online very often and I’m still unsure if I should but if I can help one family by sharing my story then at least one good thing would have come out of all this. I’m really not after attention or sympathy but I just want to raise awareness of this awful disease.
The mole was removed and in November 2017 I was diagnosed with a stage 1B melanoma. It was all a bit of a shock. This diagnosis was different. At first, I buried my head in the sand, concentrated on school work – I had to as I was meeting with parents the next day! I couldn’t really think about what I had just been told. I went back to hospital for a wide local excision & on Christmas Eve had the stitches removed. Christmas was a bit of an anxious time but in January I was told the margins were clear & it was considered low risk. I would have skin examinations every four months for three years and then every six months for a further two.
The appointment was made for two days time. It didn’t dawn on me how serious this was until I went for the biopsy and my cancer nurse was also in the room. It was then that the alarm bells started ringing. The biopsies were taken & I was asked to take a seat. The sonographer asked if I wanted her opinion or if I wanted to wait for the results. I just knew it wasn’t good news. How could I wait? She told me it looked likely that it was melanoma in my lymph nodes. It could have travelled there from my arm when I had the first melanoma removed. I would need surgery in January to remove the affected nodes (which would mean a general anaesthetic & a good few weeks recovery time) but they would also arrange for an urgent CT scan to check it hadn’t spread anywhere else.
I was devastated. I knew that this meant I was now classed as having stage 3 melanoma. I had gone from a 1b to a stage 3! I could only hope for good news that it hadn’t spread anywhere else.
The CT scan was completed on 30th December and I waited patiently on New Years Eve (which also happened to be Lee’s 50th birthday & our 20 year anniversary of meeting) for the phone-call with the results. Unfortunately the report hadn’t been written so I would have to wait until the following Monday – a whole four days away! I was so grateful that the weather was good so at least we could get out and walk which helped to clear my head and keep my mind off things, if only for a short while.
Monday came round and I had decided that I would wait until late afternoon before calling the hospital to ask for my results but I didn’t have to wait. The phone rang at 9.30 and again, turned my world upside down. The biopsy confirmed Melanoma in the lymph nodes but the CT scan showed the melanoma had metastasised to my liver.
Stage 4, Advanced Cancer.
Melanoma with metastasis in my liver.
What would that mean? Chemotherapy? Radiotherapy? Surgery? What would my prognosis be? It wasn’t looking good. I couldn’t see me ever beating this. Melanoma would beat me. My boys (who are only 16 & 13) will be growing up without a mum. I won’t be around for my beautiful family. I would be lucky if I live for another year.
But I have too much to live for. I’m only 47. I still have things I want to do. More memories to make. So I have found my strength and I will fight with every bone in my body. For as long as I can and as hard as I can.
I feel so blessed that I found the swelling when I did or who knows where I would be in six months time. And I’m forever thankful for the support of my amazing family & friends.
Please, please, I beg you, be careful in the sun. Always wear a good sunscreen & never think that it’s ‘just skin cancer’. It kills. Make sure your children don’t have to go through what mine have. And to my teacher friends – please let’s educate our children & raise awareness. Together we can fight Melanoma.
So, after two lots of immunotherapy I was extremely poorly with immunotherapy induced colitis and told that the treatment could not continue. Following a course of steroids I’m thankfully feeling back to my usual self. Having had a scan two weeks ago I was told that two out of three of the tumours had shrunk! The largest tumour in my liver has increased in size but we are hoping that it is due to being targeted by my immune system. I’m so relieved that the treatment is still having a positive effect & hopefully will continue to do so. I have another scan in July but for now I’m going to continue to be grateful for every day & live my best life.
As written by Sarah Whitehouse (June 2021)
