My story starts in 1989 and the tragic and avoidable early death of a much loved uncle at the age of 39.
My dad’s brother, Pete, had ignored the growing mole on his abdomen and ignored the frequent, ‘nagging’ requests from his wife to go and get checked out. Despite much surgery, skin grafts and chemo the cancer had spread. He died at home and our family was shaken to the ground.
In August 2017 I realised that what was previously a small brown ‘fleck’ on my chest had become larger, raised and darker at the edges. I knew. And I knew what I had to do. History would not be repeating itself. A pattern of events followed, familiar to those who have been through or are going through skin cancer treatment: GP, dermatology, mole removal, lab testing. The diagnosis was stage 1 malignant melanoma, so for me, treatment was further removal of surrounding skin through a wide local excision (WLE). All went well and no further treatment was needed. The scar healed well it can barely be seen today.
By October 2017 I’d had the surgery as well as a set of full body photographs taken at the hospital, to allow me and my wife to check for changes in my other moles. It amazed me just how many I have – I was told that I have Atypical Mole Syndrome numerous moles larger than the end of a pencil with different colour hues and irregular shapes. Unsurprisingly, people with this are at a very high risk of developing melanoma. On hearing this news, I had a sinking feeling that this was just the beginning of a longer fight. Only at this point did I tell my late uncle’s wife and my cousins of my surgery. We talked it all through, I shared my scar. I seem to remember us not talking much about the past but me thinking and pondering about whether the untimely death of my uncle had saved my own life.
A year later, my dad turned 70 and at his party, I met my dad’s half brother and my cousin. My dad had mentioned before that she had been treated for melanoma, but I was shocked to learn that she’d had 13 moles removed mostly from her legs. I’ve since learnt that she’s had many more removed as well and her fight goes on. The genetic connection started to become clear, a family connection although strangely my dad had very few moles and no issues. But I was then to learn that his own father had died from malignant melanoma as well! I never met any of my grandparents, all had died before I was born.
My dad’s dad was a bricklayer and a prisoner of war in WW2, likely to have been working outside on sunny days. He had a large mole on his back which my dad recalls was shaped like a horse’s head. My dad remembers going to the doctor with his dad and the doctor looking at the mole. He doesn’t know many details other than his dad spending time in hospital and then being told he had died.
By 2019, and with regular checks another suspicious mole was identified and removed, this time from the top of my back. Results from the lab were good, all clear and the scar quickly healed. Then, in April 2021 as the world was emerging from the Covid-19 pandemic, my wife and I were convinced that a mole on my back had changed shape and colour. The dermatologist agreed and also found another one that also looked malignant. After removal and testing both came back as stage 1 melanoma. This time, they would be removed at the Christie Hospital and a lymph node biopsy carried out at the same time, all under general anaesthetic. This felt a bit different, like the jeopardy had gone up a level. I’m a primary school headteacher and for a number of work and non work- related reasons, I asked for the surgery to take place in early August, which it did.
I spent the rest of August recovering and luckily for me, the biopsy later came back clear. However, a cautionary tale and a bit of advice – don’t start exercising too soon after surgery! I made the mistake of doing this and my scars opened up. I then spent six weeks in September and October going to the hospital to have the wounds packed and dressed. My impatience got the better of me and as well as being long, the scars look quite ugly now. The least of all worries, I know, but again, preventable and another example of the male psyche and inability to properly take advice.
Then it was my dad’s turn. No sooner had I recovered and had the all clear then my dad told me that he had a malignant mole on his shoulder that would go on to need a WLE and lymph node biopsy. I wasn’t surprised but it still came as a shock. But as with me, the early detection and removal at stage 1 meant things were OK.
My story so far is a happy one. Early detection due to my family’s raised awareness has given us good outcomes. Landmark birthdays get you special attention so I’m using this to my advantage, with a 50th birthday pledge:
- Raise at least £1000 for Melanoma UK. I’m requesting no birthday presents but a donation to my fundraising page. I have a few ideas for other special fundraising events as well and will be asking friends, family and work colleagues and families for their support.
- Raise awareness of skin cancer: signs, symptoms and the importance of early detection and treatment.
- Raise a glass to those doing great work to prevent cancer, treat cancer and support people dealing with cancer.
Thank you for reading this. I’m happy to talk and answer any questions if anyone wants more information, and if you would like to help me to achieve my 50th birthday pledge, my page can be found here:
https://www.melanomauk.org.uk/fundraisers/johns-50th-birthday-fundraiser
